So, You Wanna Join a Band….

“With a few honest conversations (and maybe an occasional drink or two), your band can be more than a side hobby; it can be one of the most joyful parts of your week.”

 

A few years ago, once my kids were old enough to be home alone staring at screens and I stopped working 50 hour weeks, I decided to find a hobby. I’d always loved performing – marching band, musical theater, a capella – so sought out singing lessons. But why take a lesson when you can belt onstage at a live concert venue after just a few short months? And thus began my musical adventure with School of Rock. It turns out that yelling angry grunge, metal anthems, and party bangers feels cathartic when the world is on fire.

 

Because of the mix-and-match approach to School of Rock’s performance program, you get to meet a lot of other adults who find joy in making music, so it is no surprise that many School of Rock “alumni” bands have emerged. (And, by the way, this community is the absolute best when it comes to supporting one another’s performances!) In the last two years, I have had the privilege of playing with several different groups, and across these experiences and in talking to others, I’ve noticed a few recurring truths (and landmines) that can make or break an amateur adult band. Here is some food for thought for people thinking of joining a band, or for bands thinking about what to discuss to get aligned.

 
#1: Overlapping Musical Interests

Start with the basics: What do you actually want to play? If your bassist is deep into Sub Pop rarities and your drummer is all about ’70s arena rock, you might be setting yourselves up for frustration. Talk openly about genres, favorite artists, and whether you want to do covers, originals, or both. And, think about how creative you want to get. Some people want to use lots of instruments and/or tech; others want to keep things simple. Some want to nail covers faithfully; others want to mash them up and make them their own.

 

#2: Comparable Musical Skill

Musical skill is of course subjective, but finding others who are a reasonable match to where you are developmentally can be helpful, both so you can evolve together as a band and so that no one feels like they are being held back or like they are holding others back. Be honest about what you can do now, and where you want to grow. Do you want to challenge yourselves, or just have fun? Talk about your strengths, your gaps, and how you can lift each other up.

 

#3: Vibe

Playing music should be fun, right? You’re all busy adults, and you’re not going to invest in a hobby or project that feels like a slog. You don’t necessarily need to want to have beers with everyone, but if practicing or performing feels like a chore, it’s not the right fit. Make space early on to check in and to periodically make sure people’s needs are being met. Ask: How’s everything going? What’s working? What’s not?

 

#4: Goals, Expectations, & Commitment

This is often where many amateur bands trip up. Even if it’s in a casual way, talk through expectations explicitly: How often will you play? Will you record? What kind of shows do you want? Importantly, talk about where the band fits with other priorities, like work, family, even other bands. Revisit everyone’s goals periodically, as things shift all the time: A little “state of the band” meeting every few months can help keep everyone aligned.

 

#5: Logistics & Decision-Making

And, finally, while not exciting to talk about, amateur bands often survive or die depending on whether the logistics work. When and where will you practice? How often? Who books gigs? Will you have social media? Who handles gear or sound? And critically: How will you make decisions as a group, especially if things go wrong or come up unexpectedly? Setting roles and being clear up front can avoid some dreaded challenges and difficult conversations down the road.  

 

At the end of the day, we join bands because we want to make noise, have fun, and connect with people. But when you’re balancing jobs, families, and life, that requires more than just talent or desire — it takes intention, communication, and a little grace. With a few honest conversations (and maybe an occasional drink or two), your band can be more than a side hobby; it can be one of the most joyful parts of your week.

 

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